Nine months

When you get pregnant, its only natural to assume that that pregnancy will last nine months. A lot of planning goes into that nine month time frame; when to enroll in birthing classes, when to have a baby shower, when to go out on maternity leave, etc.

So, needless to say, when my baby was born eight weeks early I had a lot of plans that needed changing. I was 5 weeks into my 12 week birthing class. I had not yet trained my replacement for work. I didn't even have my baby shower yet.

Kendall Grace Jensen was born August 19, 2009 because of a premature rupture of the membranes. It's actually more common that I originally thought. I was in the hospital a grand total of three days. Kendall, however, stayed a day short of 4 weeks.

My plan was to have a water birth sometime in the beginning of October at the hospital in my hometown. Because of the premature labor, I did not get the birth experience I was planning. Not only did I have to deal with the loneliness of leaving my new baby in the hospital, I had to overcome feelings of guilt and helplessness.

I couldn't help think that this situation was somehow my fault. I felt betrayed by my own body and blamed the early labor on a combination of stress and certain physicalities. I felt guilty that Chris had to deal with all the stress as well; especially since the idea of having a baby was largely a result of MY hormonal timeclock.

Leaving your baby in the hospital for someone else to take care of gives you such a feeling of helplessness. Kendall was hooked up to so many different machines, I felt my role as a mother was taken over nurses and doctors. I knew I couldn't give her the specialized care she needed and that was one of the most painful things about the whole experience.

Kendall is now home and so beautiful and healthy. If it weren't for the attention and care of the hospital staff and nurses I don't even want to think about where Kendall would be right now. I am so happy to be able to now bond with her and love her. Although it was not the experience I was planning for, it was still an experience; and one I will savor always.

March of Dimes

As many of you know, I avoid most politics and debates. I try to keep a neutral stand on most issues; especially the issues in which I am not educated in.

However, after having a premature baby, I did some research on preemie care. In my research, I came across the March of Dimes organization which raises money to help find treatment for prematurity and birth defects in infants. This may sound very peachy on the outside, but in researching this subject further, I came across some information which upset me. I have come to the conclusion that I cannot support March of Dimes. Here is a link to one of the articles I read.

Kendall Grace Jensen

I wanted to upload a picture but blogger is being weird and not letting me upload an image. Oh well!

Lots of pictures on Flickr!

Surrender

Here is a link to download Chris's sermon for the Sunday evening service. It is an amazing message to listen to (and I'm not just being biased).

"Surrender" by Chris Jensen

Summertime memories

I keep hearing people say that they are praying for no fires to come through our area again this summer. Although I like the idea of over 50 homes in the Concow/ Paradise area NOT burning to the ground, I can't help but think of what Chris and I experienced together as a result of those anxious weeks of relocation and chaos.

During the first evacuation, the town of Paradise closed all roads going into it and all but one going out. It also happened to be at a time when I was working in Chico and Chris was in Magalia (with our only car). There was a point when I didn't know if he was going to make it down to me at all.

It was a Thursday. I remember this because Farmer's Market was busier than ever in downtown Chico. I was very blessed to have two good friends wait with me for close to six hours while Chris fought traffic and fires to be with me. Sitting barefoot in the plaza I could see the smoke cloud coming up from the valley and looming overhead but I felt strangely at peace knowing that my Chris was doing everything he could to come to me.

I remember dancing with a toddler on my hips to the music and rhythm of the belly dancers in the park. I remember walking through downtown Chico barefoot and not caring about the dirt or broken glass. Even though my home was in danger and I didn't even know where I was going to stay that night, I felt free.

Chris finally made it to Chico as it was getting dark. We said goodbye to our friends and then started making phone calls to where we were going to stay. All hotels were booked but with a few more phone calls we found a family with a room they were willing to let us use as long as we wanted. Again, I am so thankful for this woman and her daughters who took us in. I think we made some really good friends that week.

Chris and I went to the store and bought some needed supplies and a cold six pack of our favorite beer. That night we sat in the grass in the smoky, muggy, Chico night air, drank our beer and talked about our future. I don't really remember specifically what we talked about but I remember just having a good time. I was so happy we were together. I love sitting beside him.

This day was my favorite day of last summer; not because homes were destroyed and families suffered loss, but because I found what was meaningful to me.

Encouragement for believers

Next week's Sunday School lesson is on encouragement. Although we are going to be studying the life of Barnabas, I find that Christ is our ultimate encourager. Just listen to John 14:

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would not have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also...I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also. In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

John 14:1-3, 6, 11-21, 26, 27

Retreat and Rest

This weekend was my rest, my sabbath. I put down my work and entered into communion with God in the mountains.

I had a wonderful, fulfilling time at a retreat for minister's wives. I missed my husband and my family, but I was still reluctant to come home. As a minister's wife, I often find myself too busy at church and home to be properly fed by God's word. And I will admit that with my stressed out life I have been neglecting my time with God.

This weekend I was able to put aside my life and focus on God and what He was trying to tell me. I prayed that Christ be the center of my family all weekend and nothing else. Amazing seminars were offered and I soaked up every word -classes on domestic violence, anger, marriage and prayer.

I committed to God the things of my life and my family but God put those things to the test before I even made it home. I got a phone call from my husband with news of a "slight" family emergency. Pre-retreat I would have just withdrawn and ignored the situation letting my husband deal with it; but this was now post-retreat. How was I going to handle this situation?

I wish I had a snazzy verse or spiritual insight to share but sometimes life is not like that, even as a minister's wife. I simply prayed; waited for my husband to get home; then dealt with it together, as a team, with the love of Christ on our hearts.

It's a...

changing lives

This week started out with what Chris called "the worst day of his life". I don't think he was exaggerating. If I was in his shoes I would probably call it the worst day of my life. In fact, I have gone through a similar situation and it did change my entire life.

Thursday, my only day off during the week, Chris and I drove down to the bay to visit family and friends. Actually, our intention was to go down there to announce the conception of baby Jensen. It wasn't much of a surprise because apparently my dad reads my blog. Anyways, what we got instead was the surprise of another baby! That's right...I am going to have a little brother or sister and whatever child I have will have an aunt or uncle not even two months younger than itself. That's crazy (but in a good way).

If you're wondering what's up with the ducks, Chris and I went to the duck pond in Fremont. We had fun walking around and looking at all the variety of birds. It was some much needed time alone together; no dog, no teenagers, just the two of us.

This week is called Holy Week. Today is Good Friday and Sunday will be Easter. With everything going on in my life right now I am glad I have the reminder that Christ already shed His blood for my sins. I have the confidence of salvation and the power of my Savior to get through anything that comes my way.

I LOVE IT!!!!

New Work Pictures

This is my most recent chalkboard. I really like how the colors came out on this one.



It's a bit blurry but I had fun creating this one.



I can't remember if I showed this one yet or not...if I did, you get to see it again.



This is my Valentine's display. It went outside the front entrance until it rained...then it went inside (a bit smeared).

Quick Update

Chris was telling me yesterday that I need to blog. I haven't been lately because I have been super busy. We not even three months into the year and already my life has changed so much.

Chris and I have taken "non-relative placement" of a 15 year old girl in our youth group. I have a hard time explaining this to people at work. It's not really foster care and I'm not sure if it is even considered legal guardianship, however we are state approved to take care of her until she can move back in with her mom.

An extra person in the house always makes schedules more involved. She attends the high school and has physical therapy twice a week as well as hanging out with friends on what seems like a daily basis. Oh to be a teenager again!

As well as working full time, I was asked to direct our church's annual ladies retreat this year. There is an amazing group of ladies working on this project with me and I am so amazed at how God has taken an idea of mine and made it His own. I do need prayer in this area because I lack certain organizational skills (and time) it takes to run this type of retreat. Other possible ministries to be started in 2009 are a women of the bible class for teen girls and a mentorship partnering program for ladies in the church. God is doing some great things in our new women's ministries thanks to Josie and Jan.

Lastly, and I wasn't going to mention this (because certain family members haven't been told yet)...I am two months pregnant! Dad, if by some chance you read this I wanted to tell you in person, so next month when I come down there, act surprised.

I think that is it for now. I hope to post some pictures of my artwork up this weekend...things have been really busy at work.

I will be Your God

Ezekiel 36:28

You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God.

Hosea 2:23

and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people'; and he shall say, 'You are my God.'"

Jeremiah 31:33

But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Zechariah 13:9

And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'They are my people'; and they will say, 'The LORD is my God.'"

Exodus 6:7

I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the LORD your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.

Leviticus 26:12

And I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people.

Ezekiel 11:20

that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

2 Corinthians 6:16

What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Revelation 21:3

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.

2 Samuel 7:24

And you established for yourself your people Israel to be your people forever. And you, O LORD, became their God.

Ezekiel 37:26-27

I will make a covenant of peace with them. It shall be an everlasting covenant with them. And I will set them in their land and multiply them, and will set my sanctuary in their midst forevermore. My dwelling place shall be with them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Hosea 1:10

Yet the number of the children of Israel shall be like the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured or numbered. And in the place where it was said to them, "You are not my people," it shall be said to them, "Children of the living God."

Exodus 29:45-46

I will dwell among the people of Israel and will be their God. And they shall know that I am the LORD their God, who brought them out of the land of Egypt that I might dwell among them. I am the LORD their God.

Zechariah 8:8

and I will bring them to dwell in the midst of Jerusalem. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God, in faithfulness and in righteousness."

Jeremiah 30:22

And you shall be my people, and I will be your God."

Jeremiah 24:7

I will give them a heart to know that I am the LORD, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart.

All things Trader Joe's

I was doing research for a new project I am working on in the wine section. What I found was that the internet has a lot of devoted Trader Joe's fans (like me!). I also found a few other Trader Joe's artists with sites as well. There were hundreds of articles and blogs about Trader Joe's and its food, howeverI posted only the links for the sites strictly designed for all things Trader Joe's.


Tracking Trader Joe's -not affiliated with TJ's at all but extremely devoted and surprisingly knowledgeable about all the products

Cooking with Trader Joe's -again, not affiliated with TJ's.

Trader Joe artist #1

Trader Joe artist #2

And finally, the actual Trader Joe's website.

Who knew!?!

Butte College Journal

I have lots of filled (or partially filled) journals laying around my house. I think it's time to start going through them, learning what I can about myself, then getting rid of them and moving on. Here are the highlights of my past year.

Things I was musing over:

• the differences between "shadow" and "shade"
• Why I sometimes lie to avoid confrontation and embarrassment
• How to survive domestication -I wrote this after having to be at home all day by myself with nothing to do.
  

Projects I was working on:

• 2009 women's retreat -Theme: "Healing Blood"
  
• Lifeway writing assignment -huge assignment I did about being a servant like Christ. It was supposed to go online but I haven't seen it at all.
• Brittney's house warming party -now she's all grown up and getting married!
• Fund raising for young woman's ministries (stopped because everything fell through)
• Devotional assignment for Lifeway about Jesus being the only way to salvation.
  
• Started working on a personal essay for the Sac Bee but never finished.

Significant moments:

• The day we brought home Dozer
• 2008 VBS -I love my group of 5th and 6th graders
• September 6, 2008 -Youth Day
• August 30, 2008 -SYC car wash fundraiser
• Writer's workshop at the Paradise library
  

Sunday School:

• August 10, 2008 -Help in our Christian walk (Hebrews 2:14-18, 3:5-14)
• August 31, 2008 -Getting through our Christian walk (Hebrews 12)
• Date unknown -Romans Road
  

Something I wrote after a walk with Dozer in the Park:

Walk.
A carnival with laughing kids.
Everyone is happy.
I am alone but peaceful.
Not scared.
A man with jeans on.
Is He following me?

I'm excited to have kids someday.
To take them to the park or a carnival.
Until then I must watch from a distance.
Watch smiling children come up to me,
To pet my dog.
I'm more of a dog person anyways.

That is all for my Butte College journal. I can now recycle those memories. One small step to getting rid of some of the junk around my house.

What I have been learning

I have been learning that God is constantly leading me and sending me reminders of His love and grace in unexplainable ways whether I take the time to notice them or not.

Verse that I have been dwelling on lately:

Psalm 19

The Witness of Creation and Scripture

For the choir director. A Davidic psalm.

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky proclaims the work of His hands.

² Day after day they pour out speech;
night after night they communicate knowledge.

³ There is no speech; there are no words;
their voice is not heard.

⁴ Their message has gone out to all the earth,
and their words to the ends of the inhabited world.
In the heavens He has pitched a tent for the sun.

⁵ It is like a groom coming from the bridal chamber;
it rejoices like an athlete running a course.

⁶ It rises from one end of the heavens
and circles to their other end;
nothing is hidden from its heat.

⁷ The instruction of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul;
the testimony of the LORD is trustworthy,
making the inexperienced wise.

⁸ The precepts of the LORD are right,
making the heart glad;
the commandment of the LORD is radiant,
making the eyes light up.

⁹ The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever;
the ordinances of the LORD are reliable
and altogether righteous.

¹⁰ They are more desirable than gold—
than an abundance of pure gold;
and sweeter than honey—
than honey dripping from the comb.

¹¹ In addition, Your servant is warned by them;
there is great reward in keeping them.

¹² Who perceives his unintentional sins?
Cleanse me from my hidden faults.

¹³ Moreover, keep Your servant from willful sins;
do not let them rule over me.
Then I will be innocent,
and cleansed from blatant rebellion.

¹⁴ May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable to You,
LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.

In times of disappointment God gives us the gift of His creation. In times of confusion He gives us the gift of His word. My prayer is that my heart be turned away from sin and disobedience. THE LORD IS MY ROCK AND MY REDEEMER. AMEN.

Do It Yourself Marriage Retreat

I just came across a this Do-it-yourself Marriage Retreat document online. I read through it pretty quickly but I noticed there were some questions in it that I wouldn't think about discussing with my husband on my own. Chris is still sleeping but I am going to say that this is something we will try. It is for Christian couples which means the questions are designed for stay at home moms and their bread winning dads. For us, being a couple with two incomes and no kids, we will need to adapt some of the questions to our lifestyle (that apparently isn't very Christian), but I digress. Lord help me, I am trying to be humble.

Anyways, here is the PDF file. I hope it works ok; my computer skills are non-existent when Chris is asleep.

My New Year's Resolution

I never usually make resolutions. I don't make them because I know that I can't keep them. This year I am making a resolution and I hope that it sticks. I am going to cook more meals at home. This is a lifestyle change that I have been wanting to do for a while and this is the year I am going to do it. It just makes sense. Not only is it healthier but it is cheaper to buy groceries and cook something. The only thing I will be missing out on is the convenience.

I started out last night making fish enchiladas. They were yummy. I even had enough to take leftovers to work, saving me money during my lunch break. Chris is helping me out by making his resolution to EAT more at home.

Good luck to all who made resolutions this year!