ERs and Baby Food

I've grown slightly accustomed in the last six months to dealing with hospital staff, doctors and nurses. Hospitals are just no fun. I try not to hold it against the people who work there.

Chris and I spent eight hours in the emergency room last night with Kendall. We were there so late that I cuddled up with Kendall in the hospital bed and slept for two hours while we waited for the doctor to find out test results and get a second opinion from the on call pediatrician.

Kendall had an ear infection at the beginning of the month that never fully healed and then turned into slight pneumonia. She also had a very high white blood cell count. Her condition was almost to the stage where they had to admit her overnight. The doctor said we looked like capable enough parents and sent us home with an in-home breathing treatment.

As we were leaving the hospital, the doctor realized that the nurse had written Kendall's weight down wrong. We were asked by three different hospital staff what her weight was and if they could weigh her again. I said, "No!". I was not about to wake her up one more time to get information that they should have communicated better in the first place. (She is 14.2 lbs by the way.)

She is doing much better today. The breathing treatment is working nicely and she spent a good deal of cuddle time with mama today. Most of her appetite is back, too. She even ate all the carrots I made.

On a side note: Baby food jars are about 80 cents. I spent that same amount of money on organic carrots; peeled and mashed them myself and got 10 baby size portions. I don't see why more people aren't making their own baby food!

Back at Work

I've been back at work for a few months now. Things are settling down around the house. I've found that trying to find a balance between work and family is easier than I thought it would be. My goal is to love work while I'm at work and to love my family while I'm with my family.

Right now Kendall is napping in her car seat behind my chair.

Oops. No she's not. Don't make eye contact...maybe she'll go back to sleep.

Today I was accused of being a bad parent.

A customer was following me down the grocery aisle talking all about how corn syrup was bad. I regretfully told him that I have a six month old and that I have been reading up on how to make baby food. He then went on a rant on how baby formula has hidden chemicals that will harm my baby if I feed it to her. He added some information about the government and china in there too. I stop listening to people when they insult my ability to make informed parenting decisions.

I might google this chemical he was talking about. It started with an M. But then again, I might not.

Kendall is now sitting on my lap.

Nine months

When you get pregnant, its only natural to assume that that pregnancy will last nine months. A lot of planning goes into that nine month time frame; when to enroll in birthing classes, when to have a baby shower, when to go out on maternity leave, etc.

So, needless to say, when my baby was born eight weeks early I had a lot of plans that needed changing. I was 5 weeks into my 12 week birthing class. I had not yet trained my replacement for work. I didn't even have my baby shower yet.

Kendall Grace Jensen was born August 19, 2009 because of a premature rupture of the membranes. It's actually more common that I originally thought. I was in the hospital a grand total of three days. Kendall, however, stayed a day short of 4 weeks.

My plan was to have a water birth sometime in the beginning of October at the hospital in my hometown. Because of the premature labor, I did not get the birth experience I was planning. Not only did I have to deal with the loneliness of leaving my new baby in the hospital, I had to overcome feelings of guilt and helplessness.

I couldn't help think that this situation was somehow my fault. I felt betrayed by my own body and blamed the early labor on a combination of stress and certain physicalities. I felt guilty that Chris had to deal with all the stress as well; especially since the idea of having a baby was largely a result of MY hormonal timeclock.

Leaving your baby in the hospital for someone else to take care of gives you such a feeling of helplessness. Kendall was hooked up to so many different machines, I felt my role as a mother was taken over nurses and doctors. I knew I couldn't give her the specialized care she needed and that was one of the most painful things about the whole experience.

Kendall is now home and so beautiful and healthy. If it weren't for the attention and care of the hospital staff and nurses I don't even want to think about where Kendall would be right now. I am so happy to be able to now bond with her and love her. Although it was not the experience I was planning for, it was still an experience; and one I will savor always.

March of Dimes

As many of you know, I avoid most politics and debates. I try to keep a neutral stand on most issues; especially the issues in which I am not educated in.

However, after having a premature baby, I did some research on preemie care. In my research, I came across the March of Dimes organization which raises money to help find treatment for prematurity and birth defects in infants. This may sound very peachy on the outside, but in researching this subject further, I came across some information which upset me. I have come to the conclusion that I cannot support March of Dimes. Here is a link to one of the articles I read.

Kendall Grace Jensen

I wanted to upload a picture but blogger is being weird and not letting me upload an image. Oh well!

Lots of pictures on Flickr!

Surrender

Here is a link to download Chris's sermon for the Sunday evening service. It is an amazing message to listen to (and I'm not just being biased).

"Surrender" by Chris Jensen

Summertime memories

I keep hearing people say that they are praying for no fires to come through our area again this summer. Although I like the idea of over 50 homes in the Concow/ Paradise area NOT burning to the ground, I can't help but think of what Chris and I experienced together as a result of those anxious weeks of relocation and chaos.

During the first evacuation, the town of Paradise closed all roads going into it and all but one going out. It also happened to be at a time when I was working in Chico and Chris was in Magalia (with our only car). There was a point when I didn't know if he was going to make it down to me at all.

It was a Thursday. I remember this because Farmer's Market was busier than ever in downtown Chico. I was very blessed to have two good friends wait with me for close to six hours while Chris fought traffic and fires to be with me. Sitting barefoot in the plaza I could see the smoke cloud coming up from the valley and looming overhead but I felt strangely at peace knowing that my Chris was doing everything he could to come to me.

I remember dancing with a toddler on my hips to the music and rhythm of the belly dancers in the park. I remember walking through downtown Chico barefoot and not caring about the dirt or broken glass. Even though my home was in danger and I didn't even know where I was going to stay that night, I felt free.

Chris finally made it to Chico as it was getting dark. We said goodbye to our friends and then started making phone calls to where we were going to stay. All hotels were booked but with a few more phone calls we found a family with a room they were willing to let us use as long as we wanted. Again, I am so thankful for this woman and her daughters who took us in. I think we made some really good friends that week.

Chris and I went to the store and bought some needed supplies and a cold six pack of our favorite beer. That night we sat in the grass in the smoky, muggy, Chico night air, drank our beer and talked about our future. I don't really remember specifically what we talked about but I remember just having a good time. I was so happy we were together. I love sitting beside him.

This day was my favorite day of last summer; not because homes were destroyed and families suffered loss, but because I found what was meaningful to me.